Obama Calls for Higher Gas Prices! Finally!

Image credit: Treehugger.com

This morning, President Obama used his bully pulpit to call for an end to the very tax subsidies for American oil companies that he supported as a Congressman. Why he supported them in the first place is, umm, unclear, but whatever. He doesn't now, and that's what counts.



Just what is this subsidy, you ask? It is defined as, "any government action that lowers the cost of fossil fuel energy production, raises the price received by energy producers or lowers the price paid by energy consumers."

You bet we ought to end these subsidies. Who could disagree with Obama on this point? (Besides the goofy guy below. Watch the video for a good laugh!)



Of course we ought to cut into the profits of American oil producers. With gas prices nearing $5.00 per gallon, even my man-crush Rick Santelli agrees now is the time to go after the greedy bastards. Sure, gas prices will go up, but that's a good thing. Why, CBS reports that higher gas prices encourage tourism.

American oil exploration -- exploration that could lead to lower gas prices at the pump and energy independence -- can wait forever as far as I'm concerned.

In other news, Apple is raking in obscene profits by arbitraging its labor costs using Chinese workers. The tragic number of American jobs lost by this strategy simply cannot be measured.

But we do know that Apple makes more profit, per employee, than any oil company. More than Google, even! $400,000.00 per employee, per year, is what Apple rakes in. But do you think those Apple employees are seeing that profit in their paychecks? Hell no. You and I are enjoying these profits in the form of lower prices for ipads and such, and that makes me feel bad.

Autism is hugely on the rise, it was reported today, and as a mother, I can't help but wonder whether there's a connection between our children's increasing use of Apple products and the marked increase in autism.


So what if Mike Daisey was lying about Apple? He had to lie to make his point and a damn good point he made, however untrue it was. Besides, it's not like good old capitalist Apple is grateful to America or anything. Said an Apple spokesperson:

"We sell iPhones in over a hundred countries. We don’t have an obligation to solve America’s problems. Our only obligation is making the best product possible.”

Speaking of obligations, just weeks after Treyvon Martin was killed, a 13-year old white boy was doused with gasoline by two black boys who followed him home from school. When the boy reached his front porch, the two black boys set him on fire with a Bic lighter, saying "You get what you deserve, white boy."

Curiously, the story didn't get much coverage in the main stream press. But at least our nation's leaders, both black and white, agree that any injury to any child, even if that child is white, deserves and receives the same level of concern and soul-searching.



Accordingly, we, as a united nation, look forward to hearing President Obama's call for higher corporate taxes on Apple's record profits and his outrage over the hateful, racially-motivated attack against a helpless 13-year old child.

Copyright © 2012, www.lawyermommusings.blogspot.com. All rights reserved.

SAT Discriminates Against Blacks

Image credit: collegebound.net

For the love of dolls, I understand that superior, gifted intellectual liberals are concerned about the validity of Obamacare after today's oral arguments. But still, how, how, how on earth did this whopper of a news story get buried by the press today?

Going forward, all students sitting for the college SAT exam will have to produce a photo ID. Why? To cut down on cheating. Repeat, I repeat: no one can take the SAT without producing a photo ID!

No doubt, the Department of Justice will step in tomorrow to block this new measure. Oh, wait, only the government can violate your Constitutional rights, not a private testing agency. Damn. But whatever. I'm sure the DOJ will find a way to intervene here, and it damn sure better.

Because requiring a photo ID to take the SAT to get into college is obviously a transparent attempt to opaquely discriminate against minorities under the guise of transparency. This pretext, so transparent, makes me want to vomit opacity at the end of the day.

Last week a mammoth Government woman ran her hands over my entire body, from head to crotch to toe. Noooo biggie, right? Whatever it takes to keep me safe! But then? Err, you should probably sit down for this: I had to show her my photo ID to get on the plane. Yeah, you read that right. I had to show this stranger-danger woman my photo ID.

Oh, I was incensed alright. You can touch me all over, girlfriend, and over again. But when you ask to see my photo ID, you disrespect me. It is intrusive. It is invasive. It is insulting. And it is disenfranchising. I am a woman! But hells bells, what am I going to say except "yes, sir mam, may I have another" to a broad from the TSA?

To regain my composure -- because the taxpayer-purchased re-composure benches were nowhere to be found . . .



I stopped off to buy some wine at a grocery store on my way to the hotel. And once again -- cue the Twilight Zone -- I had to show the cashier my photo ID. #$%&*! This time I was flabbergasted because, and I sheepishly admit, I thought maybe it was because I don't look 21.

Could it be? God, let it be. It is! It is! And in my delusional state, I puffed up with pride, so supremely flattered was I. Indeed I nearly hugged the woman.

But then she took it upon herself to explain that state law required her to scan my photo ID before she could sell me alcohol. This was no compliment. No, she had no choice, even though it was obvious to her that I was well, well over the age of 18.

Thanks a lot, hon. So go on, now, club an old lady. Kill a baby seal. I'm feeling super-empowered and franchised, all thanks to you.

So when did this insidious, invidious discrimination slip in with the camel's nose under our great big tent? What is going on? Say, Draino, and adopt-our-kittens SPCA?

Since you're both aiders and abetters of minority disenfranchisement, you are dead to me. If my drains are clogged with hairballs, I don't care. I can hear them coming for me anyhow, so go on and take me away.

Image credit: activerain.com

And just when I thought I'd had all I could take, there was more. This afternoon I got my car inspected and I had to produce my driver's license yet again. Major trauma time. Shaking tremulously, I said to the Jiffy Lube man, "I feel completely disenfranchised, having to show you my driver's license. I don't need it to vote, so why should I have to show it to you?"

He grunted. I sobbed. And then I sobbed for him, for my son, for our civil rights, for the future of our country. It was clear he had no clue.

Image credit: Jonathan Turley

But Eric Holder understands. Yes, Eric gets it.

Alas, my post tonight was going to be about how gruesome it can be to be right. As predicted, here we are, you and I, working our tails off to bail out Europe via the IMF. But Special Drawing Rights and swap lines are so complicated and I don't have time to research them at the moment. Not to mention, my sister and my kid tell me that stuff is dense and boring, and I'm in a mad dash to go buy a hoodie -- a college-style hoodie -- so I can show everyone I'm on the right team.

Image credit: Riehl World

So au revoir, for now. In the meantime, go race war warriors! Go team!

Copyright © 2012, www.lawyermommusings.blogspot.com. All rights reserved.

Another Epic TSA Fail

This happened in March of 2010, on this family's trip to Disney World. The little boy's father watched the family's vacation movies this weekend, saw the clip, became incensed all over again, and posted it on YouTube two days ago, on March 17, 2012. There are now over 5,000 comments.

Most infuriating of all, the boy's father knew if he spoke up and called BS on these TSA agents, they'd never make their plane. The TSA has all the power, and how they love to use it.

Here, check out their budget request for 2013. It's sure to make your heart skip a beat. Yep, they'll be feeling us up or radiating us at shopping malls within two years, mark my words. Because, hey, whatever it takes to keep us safe.

Image credit: talkwiththepreacher.wordpress.com

How about, "If you see government abuse, say something." Hmm? How about that?


Copyright © 2012, www.lawyermommusings.blogspot.com. All rights reserved.

"I come to work every day, why can't you?"

Image credit: shangralafamilyfun.com

When Alexandra Pelosi did a piece on toothless Republican rednecks, it was an instant hit with the Libs. But I give her a lot of credit: when Bill Maher said it would only be fair that she make a video just as incendiary to liberals, Alexandra got right on it.

Behold, her coverage of welfare freeloaders. I'm surprised Mediaite hasn't pulled this video yet. Seriously. Watch the whole thing.



Pelosi's point was to show her fellow Democrats that "the entitlement culture's gotten so big, we're losing our own people." "Own your party," she exhorted them.

"Joe the Doorman," she noted, comes from a long line of Democrats. But he won't be voting with them this year. Nor will Dimitri, her driver.

They're sick and tired of working to support able-bodied people in the welfare lines who say things like, "I'm here trying to get some Obama bucks," while freely admitting they have no intention of looking for work. Some said they support Obama simply because he is black, or because "he gives me stuff."

Pelosi asked one fellow if he had any intention of looking for a job and he shook his head no. His answer was priceless: "Not looking for a job, maybe a career, but not a job."

That same man -- who said he hadn't worked in "half a decade" -- told Pelosi he deserves your money "only because my ancestors came here, helped build this place . . . my ancestors, the slaves."

While the audience laughed uproariously at the toothless rednecks in Mississippi, Maher was not amused by Pelosi's piece on welfare kings and queens and he tried mightily to distinguish them from their toothless southern counterparts.

But so much for Maher's suggestion that racism is exclusive to the south. He summarily dismissed Doorman Joe's weary query -- "I come to work every day, why can't you?" -- because "they don't usually hire black doormen." Huh.

Not to mention, Maher lamented, it really is damned hard to get a job if you've gone to jail. He seemed to speak from personal knowledge, so I guess he doesn't hire them, either.

Copyright © 2012, www.lawyermommusings.blogspot.com. All rights reserved.

The War on Women

Image credit: Patriots or Sheeple?

Greetings, fair maidens, from the whacko Lawyer Mom, and apologies for my missives delay. But in case you hadn't heard, there's a war going on against women. And it temporarily immobilized me.



But I'm fine now, perfectly fine. As they say, I'm "fully mobilized."

Heck, I was brave enough to opt out of the radiation machine at the airport on Wednesday. You could hear the TSA power squad's latex gloves snapping all the way to Alaska. Immediately they got on their walkie-talkies, squawking: "We've got a female opt-out! Female opt-out!"

Photo credit: Me.

"Is that a nightstick in your pocket or are you just glad to feel me?"

Had she lingered a moment longer on my feet, I might almost have called it a decent foot massage. And as you know, I'm not at all predisposed to give favorable TSA reviews. But the pat-down wasn't that bad, frankly.

No, it was the conspicuousness of it all that made it bad and turned my face beet-red. I had to stand around in stockinged feet for another ten minutes until a female agent arrived, while three other female agents lolled about.

And from the looks of it, everyone in the security line figured I'd been singled out (instead of having opted out) for heightened scrutiny -- which made the ordeal not just costly in time but embarrassing. And I'm a pretty thick-skinned, screw-you-blue old lady.

But of course, that's all part of the TSA's grand design, and I don't go along just to get along. Still, I wasn't about to let them take me behind closed doors for the grand feel-up, that's for damned sure -- though that is what the TSA lady encouraged me to do, after she verbally described in robotic fashion how she'd be exploring my every nook and cranny in full public view.

And no offense to anyone who experienced Nazi Germany -- I sure didn't -- but boy, I sure feel like I caught a dark glimpse.

As a criminal defense lawyer, it sickened me to see fellow Americans treated like criminals, forced to stand spread-eagle and undergo a gratuitous dose of government-imposed radiation inside the naked-people-picture machine.

One woman passenger I overheard said, "Well, it must be safe if the government's doing it." Another man said, "Screw it. Whatever it takes to get through this quickly so I don't miss my flight."

Yeah, well, God bless the voting public. But please do not write me and please do not call me with that "whatever it takes to keep me safe" nonsense.

Life is not without risk, little lambs. And death and taxes are a certainty. So deal or be defeated. Government cameras installed in every home and airport strip-searches would really keep us safe, so go on! Sign up for those.

But back to the bigger issue -- the war on women -- I've recovered. So slut, smut, cu#t, twat, we don't got no apricots . . .

Next, maybe I'll take on Bernanke's claim that we have no inflation (if I dare, since Big Brother Ben is admittedly monitoring Twitter and bloggers). Or maybe we'll talk about that bridge I've been trying to unload. Seems like people are lining up to buy any load of sh*t.

Copyright © 2012, www.lawyermommusings.blogspot.com. All rights reserved.