Image credit: Patriots or Sheeple?Greetings, fair maidens, from the whacko Lawyer Mom, and apologies for my missives delay. But in case you hadn't heard, there's a war going on against women. And it temporarily immobilized me.
But I'm fine now, perfectly fine. As they say, I'm "fully mobilized."
Heck, I was brave enough to opt out of the radiation machine at the airport on Wednesday. You could hear the TSA power squad's latex gloves snapping all the way to Alaska. Immediately they got on their walkie-talkies, squawking: "We've got a female opt-out! Female opt-out!"
"Is that a nightstick in your pocket or are you just glad to feel me?"
Had she lingered a moment longer on my feet, I might almost have called it a decent foot massage. And as you know, I'm not at all predisposed to give favorable TSA reviews. But the pat-down wasn't that bad, frankly.
No, it was the conspicuousness of it all that made it bad and turned my face beet-red. I had to stand around in stockinged feet for another ten minutes until a female agent arrived, while three other female agents lolled about.
And from the looks of it, everyone in the security line figured I'd been singled out (instead of having opted out) for heightened scrutiny -- which made the ordeal not just costly in time but embarrassing. And I'm a pretty thick-skinned, screw-you-blue old lady.
But of course, that's all part of the TSA's grand design, and I don't go along just to get along. Still, I wasn't about to let them take me behind closed doors for the grand feel-up, that's for damned sure -- though that is what the TSA lady encouraged me to do, after she verbally described in robotic fashion how she'd be exploring my every nook and cranny in full public view.
And no offense to anyone who experienced Nazi Germany -- I sure didn't -- but boy, I sure feel like I caught a dark glimpse.
As a criminal defense lawyer, it sickened me to see fellow Americans treated like criminals, forced to stand spread-eagle and undergo a gratuitous dose of government-imposed radiation inside the naked-people-picture machine.
One woman passenger I overheard said, "Well, it must be safe if the government's doing it." Another man said, "Screw it. Whatever it takes to get through this quickly so I don't miss my flight."
Yeah, well, God bless the voting public. But please do not write me and please do not call me with that "whatever it takes to keep me safe" nonsense.
Life is not without risk, little lambs. And death and taxes are a certainty. So deal or be defeated. Government cameras installed in every home and airport strip-searches would really keep us safe, so go on! Sign up for those.
But back to the bigger issue -- the war on women -- I've recovered. So slut, smut, cu#t, twat, we don't got no apricots . . .
Next, maybe I'll take on Bernanke's claim that we have no inflation (if I dare, since Big Brother Ben is admittedly monitoring Twitter and bloggers). Or maybe we'll talk about that bridge I've been trying to unload. Seems like people are lining up to buy any load of sh*t.
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1 comment:
It's no use. I used to raise sheep. There's not much you can do with them...
I have not had the pleasure of experiencing an airport since the new naked picture machines. I don't even want to think about it. Maybe if I just bring my own naked picture I can avoid the machine and the pat down?
Of course there's a war on women. We're damn scary. We're the ones questioning everything.
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