From Warmists to Warmers: A Most Expensive Spoof

Remember that smug mother I wrote about a few weeks ago, the mom who pushed her kid to claim Rick Perry "doesn't believe in science"? Today he might quip, "But madam, why don't you?" because her beloved "anthropogenic global warming" theory has just about died and gone to hell.

The theory formerly known as fact -- that man is primarily responsible for the rise in the earth's temperature -- has been all but eviscerated by the CLOUD study conducted by the prestigious CERN.

It's taken me hours of internet research to in simple words distill but, finally, here it is: Clouds block the sun's rays. Think: "clouds = awning." More clouds = cooler. Less clouds = hotter. Surely you've used an umbrella at the beach.

And what drives cloud formation? Why, cosmic rays from the sun, primarily. So what brings about global cooling? A bunch of clouds. What brings about global warming? The absence of a bunch of clouds.

Alas, brace for impact, maniacal earth-egoists, but mere mortals play a small, if even nominal, role in climate change. As Delingpole put it, "It's the sun, stupid."

Of course, earlier articles catalogued the erroneous assumptions built into the AGW models, but only heretics a few paid these writings any mind. The new study, though, from CERN seems to cinch the deal.

If you doubt me, consider the obfuscation in CERN's announcement. It is a painful, obtuse piece of scientific sludge, watered down because CERN is worried about the political optics of the study's import.

“Ion-induced nucleation will manifest itself as a steady production of new particles that is difficult to isolate in atmospheric observations because of other sources of variability but is nevertheless taking place and could be quite large when averaged globally over the troposphere.”

Translation: "We can't say it's completely due to the sun -- conceivably Willard the rat might play a small part -- but we are pretty damn sure it's the sun. Oh, but golly, who knows?"

The most curious thing to me in all of this is why the hard evidence was ignored, dismissed by the Warmers out of hand? Good grief, remember their violent 10:10 video?

Maybe it's because I'm a lawyer, but I need to understand why people do what they do before I can get on with it. I need to understand why the AGW people are so rabid, intent on vilifying any skeptic (Gore says naysayers are analogous to racists).

And I want to understand what -- certainly not the earth -- compels the AGW crusaders to race around an endlessly looping track like crazed horses in blinders, when the scientific evidence controverts their man-caused theory? It makes no sense.
Personally, I'd much rather admit I don't know something than pretend to when I don't. In law school, well-meaning students insisted I buy a "horn book" for this or that class -- yet none could explain the horn books' moniker. It drove me bonkers.

Call me quirky. Better yet, call me an effete intellectual. Ah. Now there is oxygen, now we can relate.

The most persuasive explanation I found for the Warmers' motive is presented here. Although it is a scientific report, it's a fairly easy read -- a fascinating, fast-paced thriller, if you ask me.

So from one high-brow liberal to another, surely you'll consider this singular task: Before you clamor to climb aboard the popular-girl AGW bus, or blindly embrace the preposterous notion that a skeptical scientist is no scientist at all (gah! how revoltingly pedantic is that?) at least educate yourself and read this.

And then you can tell me how the "anthropogenic" alarmists almost pulled off the most expensive global hoax ever.

See also: The Truth About Greenhouse Gases (William Happer); Watt's Up With That?

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The Fedcoats are coming.

Listen fair maidens and you shall hear
Of the guitar my kid won in a raffle last year . . .

But I must say, it never occurred to me that the guitar wood might be illegal. No, in my lawyer-mom mind, I was all: is this reportable income? Could it be construed as a capital gain? How many zillion kids did mine piss off by winning this thing?

But the Feds are all over the wood. The government is conducting raids on American guitar manufacturers. And I'm talking real raids, not some gentle "knock, knock, can we see the receipt for your wood?" encounter.

This business-friendly hyper-enforcement affects American jobs, too. From the Tennessean:

[Gibson Guitar Chief] Juszkiewicz bristled at the notion that Gibson could import fretboards finished by Indian workers, but that allowing partially finished fretboards to be completed by American workers is illegal.

“Over the last two years, we have hired 580 American workers,” he said. “We are one company that is manufacturing in the United States, that is hiring people ... and yet the government is spending millions of dollars on this issue.

“We feel totally abused.”

In other irritating news, some funky libertarian-types are under fire in Antelope Valley, a desolate desert area on the edge of Los Angeles County. Reason TV did an excellent story on these eclectic free birds, now feasts for the government vultures.

It's worth watching, even if the narrator does sound like a discouraged Dexter understudy.

(h/t HotAir)

Okay, so yeah, they're a bit kooky. I'll give you that. But it's still a subjective call, no? Maybe I call pink flamingos "suburban blight" or steal your garden gnomes under cover of night. What happened to "Stay You!" I'd like to know. Why won't the government leave these people alone?

Get off of my cloud. We've got massive government creep and I'm getting claustrophobic. That's all I'm saying.

So stay free, fair maidens, on this Friday eve. Meanwhile I'll get back to reading Brave New World and pondering "soma." (Oh, I get why Huxley called it soma. But what the hell was Chico's thinking, naming its lingerie store Soma? "Hey, mom, look at Chico's flirty new skirt for fall. It's called Fistula!")

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"Obama has done for the economy what pantyhose did for foreplay."

Our generation's Yogi Berra, you've got to love Kinky. Here he is today, in the Daily Beast:

So would I support Rick Perry for president? Hell, yes! As the last nail that hasn’t been hammered down in this country, I agree with Rick that there are already too damn many laws, taxes, regulations, panels, committees, and bureaucrats. While Obama is busy putting the hyphen between “anal” and “retentive” Rick will be rolling up his sleeves and getting to work.

So . . . tell me again, who are those crazy "Tea Partiers"?

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By His Lonesome

"Number 43 added $4 trillion dollars by his lonesome, so that now we have over $9 trillion dollars of debt that we are going to have to pay back. $30,000.00 for every man, woman and child. That's irresponsible. That's unpatriotic!"

-- Barack Obama

Pot, meet Kettle.

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Dogs Know

Photo credit: Lisa Pembleton

U.S. Navy SEAL Jon Tumilson died after the Taliban shot down his Chinook. His beloved dog Hawkeye stayed by Jon's casket during the entire funeral service.



Video clip here.

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Herding Donkeys

Here's a new political ad from Roger Williams, zinging madly around the internet -- at least in conservative circles. It's clever.


("The Donkey Whisperer" -- h/t HotAir)

But I think his serious commercial is even more effective.



On a semi-related note, who will bet that Hillary jumps in, now that Perry has apparently risen to the fore?

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It's Easy to Fire Teachers!

Sure, it may take six years or so to terminate a teacher who sends a sexual email to your kid, or a suggestive note that the two of them meet behind the dumpster after school.

And five DWIs in 7 years? Well, that may be a bit tougher.

If she's just flat-out incompetent? Umm, sorry, but forget about it.

But if he "frightens and intimidates" your straight kid because of a pro-gay Facebook posting? Well then, baby, you've hit the motherlode. It's game on, sister!



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Kidding Up

What do you say to a woman who uses her little kid to needle a presidential candidate? It's not "man up" . . .



Think he wanted to tell her this?

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Hell Hath No Fury . . .

Like a caucus spurned.



But I must admit, I'm feeling a little jilted, too.

Credit: AP/The Asbury Park Press, Tom Spader

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Leading

Now that Perry is in the race, at least one political strategist says Romney is done.

Perhaps. Perhaps.

But I find this clip from Chris Christie, on Obama's "leading from behind," more inspiring.



"Leading is not a political strategy. It's a moral strategy."

Amen.

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Backdrops

Gosh, you don't even have to click on the videos to see the problem.

On the one hand you've got, "Beef: it's what's for dinner."



And on the other you've got escargot -- an expensive snack . . .




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7500 South Normal

Mugging in London

In this unrecovering, stultifying summer, it is a fleeting glint of irony that one of the violent flash mobsters in Chicago lives in the 7500 block of South Normal.

Because this summer has been anything but. There have been violent flash mobs across the country -- in Miami, Charlotte, Boston, Long Island, Rochester, Philadelphia . . . .


Black youths riot at a water park in Alabama.


Greensboro, NC had a rash of flash mobs this summer.

Today we awoke to horrific images of buildings burning and flash-mob black-on-white beatings and lootings throughout London. The U.K. prohibits citizens from fighting back to defend themselves and the plunderers had their way.

Indeed so nannified is the U.K., clean-up volunteers -- who formed their own flash mob of sorts -- were turned away, forbidden from helping because of safety rules. Broken glass is scattered about, after all.

For a time, there was little national coverage of the growing flash mob brutalities in our own country -- only bits of news here and there -- perhaps because of the glaring racial component.

Drudge was excoriated for reporting the crimes. Gawker bitterly complained that they were nothing more than unrelated teenage skirmishes Drudge was using to generate a race war.

And perhaps the media were reluctant to cover the stories out of copycat concerns or fear that more exposure would fuel these fires.

But the worrisome racial aspect is a fact now being acknowledged. "These are majority African-American youths and they need to be called on it," the head of Philadelphia's NAACP chapter told the Washington Times.

In any event, just what is going on?

Janet Daley writes,

Also collapsing before our eyes is the lodestone of the Christian Socialist doctrine that has underpinned the EU’s political philosophy: the idea that a capitalist economy can support an ever-expanding socialist welfare state.
* * *
We have arrived at the endgame of what was an untenable doctrine: to pay for the kind of entitlements that populations have been led to expect by their politicians, the wealth-creating sector has to be taxed to a degree that makes it almost impossible for it to create the wealth that is needed to pay for the entitlements that populations have been led to expect, etc, etc.

On the subject of handouts, Instapundit linked to a bold blogger who wrote, "I have no issue with a social safety net. I just think the beneficiaries of this net should be grateful and embarrassed." But hold your fire.

He wrote about his grandfather during the Depression, how he would come home exhausted after working all day for the WPA. He was ashamed he needed help from the government and he wanted to give the taxpayers a fair day's work for his wage.

Is the blogger's solution to the welfare problem harsh? Most assuredly. But his bigger point is the same one this U.K. blogger makes, a tad more elegantly: the welfare state is a failure. Max Hastings was much blunter.

Speaking of welfare, Hot Air highlighted a video by Bill Whittle that irrefutably demonstrates the poor in our country fare much better, on average, than the average "regular Joe" in Europe. As our rich get richer, our poor get richer, too. A rising tide lifts all boats, put another way.

But what Whittle most pointedly assails is that no one on public assistance ever thanks the taxpayers who support them.



Rather, we see the bite-the-hand-that-feeds-you principle at work, and it's only escalating. Welfare recipients, he argues, are angry, bitter that they aren't getting more.

In other (related?) news, the Navy Seals conducted urban warfare exercises in Boston last week. Hmm. What impeccable timing, I'd hate to later say. But if the Seals are busy, fear not, fair maidens: our trusty TSA is on the way.

Alrighty then. This all takes me back to the allegorical squirrel tale, which sums up the global mood pretty well. Will it be dependence on the government or independence? Government checks or employee pay checks? Strip searches or . . . ?

Until these questions are decided in 2012, welcome to the south side of Normal.



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Dependence or Independence?

This summer, the popular conservative blog Power Line had a prize contest: dramatize the national debt in any artistic medium. Here's the winner:



Mr. M and I watched it together. At the end, he said, "So, mom, what do the squirrels do?"

The takeaway for me was that in 2012, we will all have to decide whether we want to be dependent on the government or independent. What do I mean by that? Well, take a quick look at this:



Oh, and this just in (after the markets are closed, naturally -- knock me over with a feather): S&P just downgraded our debt to AA+ after a 70-year AAA rating.

Alrighty then. So let's hear it. What should the squirrels do?

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Constituent Me

Dear Congressman Sessions,

Sorry to hear you and your wife have split up. You look a bit ambushed in this picture. And it's hard to tell from your news release -- "a decision has been made that my wife and I are separating" (a passive voice if ever I heard one) -- whether you agree with this decision. I trust that you had some input. Still, that's your business, not mine.

But as one of your constituents, can I share some of my business with you? Because it could end up being your business, too.

Here's how I live: I drive a car that's paid for, I've got a debit card -- no credit cards -- and I spend only what I've got in my checking account; sometimes, less. The only debt I owe is to my dentist, and it weighs on me.

If I'm at Target and I don't have the money to buy that new Bay Blade my son is begging for, I don't pull out a credit card and charge it. I just don't buy it.

It's never happened, and I doubt it will, but if my son wanted an educational DVD to learn Mandarin Chinese and I didn't have the money, I wouldn't buy it -- no matter how worthwhile I thought it was -- period. I'm not bragging here; my austerity is borne of necessity. It's extreme, I know.

Does saying "no" all the time make me popular with my son? Nope. But as his mother, I've explained to him repeatedly, my job is to keep him alive and teach him how to behave. It is to act in his best interests, not mine.

This summer we took a road trip and had a lot of time to talk. He was interested in why the economy is so bad, and my explanation reflected my conservative views. We covered the Community Reinvestment Act, corrupt GSEs like Fannie and Freddie, not blaming Wall Street for saying yes to free government money.

We talked about government corn subsidies and tobacco subsidies. Oh, I could go on and on. But what it all boiled down to, was this: Congress is just plain stupid.

And because Congress is so predictably, unfathomably foolish, my son will be handing over 60% of his paycheck to the government when he grows up, if he's lucky enough to land a job. His self-employed dad gives you guys 40% right now. In 2013, when he'll have to pay even more, we'll look back on 2011 and say these were the good old days.

The debt limit came up in our conversations, of course. We talked about how it has transmogrified into leverage Republicans can use to cut spending.

And we talked about how telling different special interest groups that you just don't have the money for them doesn't get you votes. But we decided that not getting re-elected is just too damn bad.

Because we can do the math on our country's finances. It's not hard. In 2010, we took in $2.2T and we spent $3.4T. For 2012, Obama hopes we'll take in $2.6 T and he wants to spend $3.9T.

Our budgets read like science fiction. We go into the hole by at least a trillion, every year. Yet you guys in DC keep on keeping on, spending trillions more than we make and charging the difference to our kids, year after year.

We know Visa isn't going to call President Obama and tactfully tell him the country has reached its credit limit. But the bond market sure as hell will. And it won't be gentle in the telling. We'll be bloody and bludgeoned before it's all over.

So stop already. We're not stupid. We know "cutting the deficit" is just fancy government-speak for "we're still borrowing, just not as much."

Quit voting to increase the government budget every single year. We don't have the money. This is not rocket science.



Where was I a few years ago, you may ask, when you guys were raising the debt ceiling time and again and no one seemed to care? I don't know, sir. Raising a kid, I guess. Living my life and not feeling the pinch yet. But I'm here now.

And now that I'm here, can you please tell me what's so bad about the Mack Penny Plan? What is so "extreme" or "tyrannical" about balancing the budget over eight years, pray tell? Tear up the credit cards now, Pete: stop issuing more treasury bonds. Stop borrowing and start balancing -- for my kid's sake and yours.

Because between Hattiesburg and Jackson, Mississippi, my son asked me a question I had a hard time answering. "Mom, since the people in Congress are so bad, why don't you do something? Why don't you go be in Congress and fix things?"

He had an inarguable point. It's called "quit your bitching." How can I criticize you, sir, for putting my money where your mouth is, if I won't do anything about it?

But I'm just a soccer mom, I tried to tell my son, a part-time lawyer, a cafeteria volunteer, and I curse like a sailor. I'm a nobody and nobody knows me. And skeletons? Got a house full of 'em; plus, I've driven a mac truck all over the internet.

Not to mention, I am no tea-party pal -- not if the Tea Party is defined by social issues -- no, sir. True, I'm not a global warming gal, but when it comes to gay marriage, I'm all for it. Because I'm all for getting the government off of our backs and out of our bedrooms. As for abortion? It wasn't an option for me personally, but I'm glad it was an option for me legally.

But Pete, try explaining all that to a kid -- and a kid who can argue the pants off of you, at that. I sure couldn't. I told him I'd just be a huge wart hog, but he said he didn't care.

And now that I'm getting older, damn it, I've grown a thicker skin and a ridiculous, consuming compulsion to die with a clear conscience, to be able to look my son in the eye when I'm on my deathbed (assuming I have advance notice) and say, "well, at least I tried."

So what do you think, Pete, can you help me out? Take a few pointers from Marc Rubio and just do your job now, so I won't have to run for it in 2012?

True, you may not get elected again if you do the right thing, but you'll be a bigger loser if you don't. Because your job as an elected representative is to act in the best interests of the country, to keep it alive. It is not to act in your own.

Sincerely yours,

Constituent Me

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