In the aptly named town of Loveland, a Colorado high school teacher and her student paramour were found naked, engaged in an act of intimacy in the back seat of the woman's car. It is not known whether the bottle of vodka found nearby was a factor in the pairing. Said the police officer who discovered the pair, "I told both subjects I could see they were naked and they needed to get dressed and talk to me."
The teacher's position at the school is "instructional coach." Her job is to advise colleagues on how to avoid affairs with students and maintain a "professional distance."
Well, at least she can say she's experienced in such matters.
On the subject of irony, a Dallas police officer was arrested for embezzling reward money from the Crime Stoppers unit. Accused Senior Corporal Theadora Ross was responsible for reviewing anonymous tips and determining which tippers were entitled to reward money. In her estimation, she was, well, the most entitled. To the tune of $250,000.00, over a five-year period, no less.
The safe, secure method for paying the tipsters, designed by our ever-efficient local government, was indeed fool-proof. Officer Ross, an intellectual giant, would give the anonymous tipper (often gal pal Malva Delley) a secret number and code word, and she'd simply go to the bank, provide the code word and number, and walk off with a wad of cash.
Alas, the jig was up when
Finally, we turn to national news and the protests in Egypt. Relax, people. Relax. All the protesters want is democracy and . . . the Muslim Brotherhood wants a seat at the Egyptian government's table. What could go wrong? Even socialists support the ouster of Mubarak.
So fear not, fair maidens. Don't be a Juan Williams wussy. The Muslim Brotherhood has not, and never will be, an incubator for terrorists. Hamas? What Hamas? The Brotherhood is not, I repeat, not "extremist." And the protesters love Israel. Love, love, love it.