Going the Extra Mile (Hypothetically)

Maybe it's just a tall Texas tale, but I've been told that every once in a while, a jury will cut a fellow loose because he had such a terrible lawyer. They take pity on the poor guy and find him not guilty. But I've never seen it. And "ineffective assistance" rarely succeeds on appeal. At least in Texas, bad lawyers almost always hurt the client -- and hurt 'em bad.

Years ago when I interned for a judge, I watched a personal injury trial. A woman had been badly hurt when a car rear-ended her; she had a legitimate claim. But the jury gave her nothing. After the verdict, I interviewed the jurors to find out why. They said they believed she'd really been hurt, but they gave her a big fat zero anyway because her lawyer was so bad. "She just needs to get a good lawyer and try again," one of them said. "She'll get some money next time."

Well, since "next times" are almost never, Jerry Sandusky may want to get a new lawyer now. Because the newest addition to his defense team, a Mr. Karl Rominger, is making me feel kind of sorry for old Jerry, and a wee bit sick.

In a television interview, Rominger suggested that showering with boys as old as fourteen was all part of Sandusky's Second Mile duties because, well, some of them just don't know how to bathe at that age. To wit:

"Teaching a person to shower at the age of 12 or 14 sounds strange to some people, but people who work with troubled youth will tell you there are a lot of juvenile delinquents and people who are dependent who have to be taught basic life skills like how to put soap on their body.”

So you see, there was nothing strange about it. Sandusky was just going the extra mile, teaching basic life skills to boys in the throes of puberty.

Dear God in heaven, that sort of logic is so twisted it hurts my head. But wait. It gets worse.

Shortly after this disastrous interview, Rominger clarified: he was simply offering a hypothetical explanation for why a grown man might touch a boy in a shower. He wasn't saying Sandusky actually touched boys in the shower.

Ohhhh. Well now that clears things up considerably. He was just explaining how something that never happened might have . . . happened. And happened innocently! I get it. Eureka. Anyway, as I was saying, I don't think the stupid-lawyer trick is going to work out too well for Sandusky.

Granted, Amendola's Gomer Pyle defense might not have worked either. But at least it made sense.




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