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Summer gatherings are right around the corner. Make them more bearable lively with these riveting conversation starters. For example, who knew . . .
1. Strippers who are not on the pill make more in tips than their on-the-pill counterparts. And even more when they're ovulating. Oy vey, the power of estrus.
2. Susan Boyle recorded a CD for charity in 1999. And she recanted her "never-been-kissed" claim.
3. The FDIC (taxpayer) has been guaranteeing new bond issues ($300 billion so far) of bailed-out banks so they can raise "private capital." Nice.
4. Mormon crickets are hideously ugly creatures that march in armies, ravage the landscape, eat each other, and loathe rock music. They are set to invade Tuscarora, Nevada in May and the townspeople are armed . . . with boom boxes.
5. People are repelled when a social misfit tries awkwardly to fit in. Which is really sad.
6. Tinplate prices are sky-rocketing, nudging companies like Campbell's and Del Monte to look for alternatives to tin cans, like the TetraPak. Which is really great since it means less BPA.
7. Per the Wall Street Journal, the EPA did an end-run around Congress on cap-and-trade legislation by unilaterally finding all CO2 to be a "dangerous pollutant."
8. Miracle bras are for real: an underwire bra slowed down a speeding bullet, saving a woman's life.
9. Geithner privately socialized with investment bank muckety-mucks while president of the NY Fed, unlike his recent predecessors.
10. Women on the pill are attracted to men with similar immune systems while non-pill women gravitate toward men with immune systems different from their own (thereby increasing the chances their offspring will have stronger immune systems). Oh, and pill-takers have higher rates of marital discord.
11. A new wave of residential foreclosures is on the horizon, due in part to the lifting of prior foreclosure moratoriums.
12. Commercial mortgages are poised to default at staggering rates.
13. You can bake bacon in the oven and it's absolutely delicious, even better than in the skillet.
14. We baked bacon on Saturday night and I ate a BLT; even though the "authorities" say it's safe to eat pork, I'm now terrorized by swine-flu nightmares.
15. Angelina Jolie is set to play the brainy forensic medical examiner Kay Scarpetta in a movie based on Patricia Cornwell's books. I can't picture it.
16. Alex Kuczynski is pregnant with her OWN child and she's due this month. Oh dear.
17. I can't believe I'm agreeing with Alex on anything, but she's right about Tropicana's new carton design, which features a pervy nipple-like cap. Wretched. Worse than the Ozarka "udder" water bottle.
19. This kind of recycling is not cool. For the first few months of this year, bailed-out banks made political contributions to their Congressional overseers. Now? Not so much.
20. In the '90s, Brooksley Born tried to get CDOs and CDS contracts regulated but Greenspan and regulators in the Clinton Administration shot her down.
21. A kid will eat just about anything if it's at the end of a toothpick, even green peas. Truly. Try it.
Summer gatherings are right around the corner. Make them more 
1. Strippers who are not on the pill make more in tips than their on-the-pill counterparts. And even more when they're ovulating. Oy vey, the power of estrus.
2. Susan Boyle recorded a CD for charity in 1999. And she recanted her "never-been-kissed" claim.
3. The FDIC (taxpayer) has been guaranteeing new bond issues ($300 billion so far) of bailed-out banks so they can raise "private capital." Nice.
4. Mormon crickets are hideously ugly creatures that march in armies, ravage the landscape, eat each other, and loathe rock music. They are set to invade Tuscarora, Nevada in May and the townspeople are armed . . . with boom boxes.
5. People are repelled when a social misfit tries awkwardly to fit in. Which is really sad.
6. Tinplate prices are sky-rocketing, nudging companies like Campbell's and Del Monte to look for alternatives to tin cans, like the TetraPak. Which is really great since it means less BPA.
7. Per the Wall Street Journal, the EPA did an end-run around Congress on cap-and-trade legislation by unilaterally finding all CO2 to be a "dangerous pollutant."
8. Miracle bras are for real: an underwire bra slowed down a speeding bullet, saving a woman's life.
9. Geithner privately socialized with investment bank muckety-mucks while president of the NY Fed, unlike his recent predecessors.
10. Women on the pill are attracted to men with similar immune systems while non-pill women gravitate toward men with immune systems different from their own (thereby increasing the chances their offspring will have stronger immune systems). Oh, and pill-takers have higher rates of marital discord.
11. A new wave of residential foreclosures is on the horizon, due in part to the lifting of prior foreclosure moratoriums.
12. Commercial mortgages are poised to default at staggering rates.
13. You can bake bacon in the oven and it's absolutely delicious, even better than in the skillet.
14. We baked bacon on Saturday night and I ate a BLT; even though the "authorities" say it's safe to eat pork, I'm now terrorized by swine-flu nightmares.
15. Angelina Jolie is set to play the brainy forensic medical examiner Kay Scarpetta in a movie based on Patricia Cornwell's books. I can't picture it.
16. Alex Kuczynski is pregnant with her OWN child and she's due this month. Oh dear.
17. I can't believe I'm agreeing with Alex on anything, but she's right about Tropicana's new carton design, which features a pervy nipple-like cap. Wretched. Worse than the Ozarka "udder" water bottle.
19. This kind of recycling is not cool. For the first few months of this year, bailed-out banks made political contributions to their Congressional overseers. Now? Not so much.
20. In the '90s, Brooksley Born tried to get CDOs and CDS contracts regulated but Greenspan and regulators in the Clinton Administration shot her down.
21. A kid will eat just about anything if it's at the end of a toothpick, even green peas. Truly. Try it.
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19 comments:
I am professing my love for Angelina. She totally deserved Brad over that slut Jen.
So it was Jen she was originally after, eh? Who knew!
What about menopausal strippers?? What's the verdict on them?
Angelina Jolie as Scarpetta? NO, that's SO wrong.
And give up the swine flu nightmares. It's no where near as dangerous as taking your teen out driving.
That's when the nightmares really start.
NO way! Alex is pregnant??!! What and give up her goddess-like perfection?
See, I knew it was best for me to not be on the pill. Our kids have great immune systems. And hubby and I never get the same illness.
And Scarpetta, I wouldn't be happy with anyone playing her, let alone that bony legged Jolie.
I needed a fun distraction tonight, and you provided it. Thank you. :)
I've always cooked bacon in the oven on non-stick foil, 375 degrees for about 10-15 minutes. Turns out perfect every time.And it's good for so many things.
I'm not seeing Angelina as Kay Scarpetta but anything has got to be better than the movie my daughter took me to today, Obsessed starring Beyonce- a big thumbs down.
Interesting.
That cricket picture made me jump.
But the bacon picture made me drool. Mmm, bacon..
Love this conversation openers! It seems as if you must be on the pill to snag a husband and then go off it once you get married?!
My son taught me about that bacon thing! It's wonderful! As for Angie playing Scarpetta... no no and no again... no. I won't go see it, which is sad because I really like the book. And I knew about Susan Boyle and the other recording.... I spend entirely too much time on the internet!
Try baking the bacon wrapped around prunes, it's delic. I like Angelina but as Kay? Nah. Of course I'd watch it.
It is so true about the toothpick thing. All foods taste better to children when skewered with any type of wooden instrument. Don't know how you gathered up all those facts but this was very fun to read!
Love bacon baked in the oven, though every time Lee makes it, the smoke alarm goes off. Every. Time.
My babies are too young for toothpics, but that magical ketchup or 'ravy or ranch dressing works wonders.
No way can Angelina be allowed to play Kay.
Madonna, perhaps, but never Angelina. You need to get a petition going.
(Excellent blog you have here, by the way)
I'd be worried about being thrown out if I used any of these as conversation starters. Of my own house even! Think I'll stick to the weather.
Jennifer Aniston's a slut? Anyone got her number?
Just kidding...or not ;-)
A great collection of factoids, Counselor! And I will take you up on your offer to bond me out if the Burkina Faso Poo-leece show up to serve me on behalf of BOA..nyuk nyuk.
So many delectable tidbits! I am totally stealing this post format from you, in the very near future.
I have never read those Scarpetta books. Are they good? I am hunkered down with the latest Lee Child book right now.
Again, mahvilhoso!
Brooksley Born and Ayn Rand are my heroines.
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