So I arrive in the major metropolis of McKinney, Texas, for a hearing this afternoon. I walk into the renovated "court-house" -- renovated I say, because it used to be a hospital.
Sprightly and with great energy I bound through the automatic doors, throw my bag down, and proceed through the metal detector. Ready to cross-examine Smokey, I am loaded for bear.__________________________________
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Me (waving off the cavalry): Oh, I always beep.
Stern security man: Mam, have you had a hip replacement?
Me: Excuse me?Security man (loudly, wielding metal wand): A hip replacement!
Me: NO! Do I look old enough to have had a hip replacement?
Security man: Well, mam, I've seen people in their FORTIES who've had them.
Me: Yeah? Well, I'm in my thirties._______
Just put me in a mumu and shoot me now.
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21 comments:
American friend found your blog mavilhoso. I love your country. I do not want to make the Brazilian President to the IMF money. And our people need a good medical care, public safety and so on. Hug a friend of the Manoel Limoeiro Brazil.
Friend love you like you were my follower on my blog. Do it please ok baby. A hug from: Manoel do Brazil.
Skunk, stop fooling with me, man!
This reminds me of this past holiday season I went into a Sephora cosmetics store for first time and was smelling the perfumes. A sales lady approached me and said, "This one reminds me so much of going out in the 80's dancing--it's like Poison, do you remember that, everyone wore that". I was speechless. How did she know I was old enough in the 80's to go out?? I couldn't have possibly looked as old as she did. Truth is, I loved what she recommended. It was one of those Be Delicious scents by Donna Karan shaped like an apple--the purple one.
OMG!! The best part of the post was Manoel' comment!! I've had those! LMAO
Don't you love getting old and comin' into your own? lol I laughed from beginning to end!
Love you like you were a follower on my blog. Hahaha!
I heard a guy at trader joes say to a customer: You're 40? You don't look THAT OLD.
It's sad when you don't get carded anymore. This guy was downright mean! Nothing good comes from going to McKinney!
Hilarious! As for those mumus... I lived in Fiji as a teenager and we all wore them!
I think I*m in love with Manoel! ;-)
So, getting carded is better. But clearly you're just getting sexier as you get older, as Manoel can testify.
I observed two employees exchange snickers after one of them carded a woman at a liquor store. Not catching their glances, the women produced her ID like it was common for her to be carded. Her sincerity only served to increase the snickering.
Hey Manoel! Friend love you like you were, uh, er, um, whatevs.
First of all, who is the Manoel dude? Lucky you, attracting the international following.
Secondly, I'd still hang out with you, even in a mumu. This was HILARIOIUS.
Lawyer Mom, I'm so glad that you're SO MUCH younger than I am, and that you haven't had any reason to even think about that hip replacement.
ME? I'm thinking I might not even make it out of my forties.
Maybe it was your pacemaker that was setting off the alarm. He didn't think about that, did he?
Well? Did he fluster you or was your cross KILLER?
Hey, I got carded at a liquor store when I was 33. In the East Village, man. I am having this inscribed on my headstone.
Fast forwarding a decade, Lawyer Mom, I got me some of them frownies. How in the heck do you wear those things without scaring husband and family and pets?
Also, I am missing the Manoel joke. Please advise.
For make benefit of bountiful blogger, Manoel wishes he'd been the guy with the wand. Mavilhoso!
Oh my.
What an idiot.
I just stumbled across your blog! Hillarious. Thanks for the laugh!
OMG, what a little punk!
You are mahvilhoso, dear! Not to worry.
This so sounds like something that would have happened to me! You should have slapped him. Do they allow that there?
It being Texas and all, you weren't actually packing a gun were you? LOL No, you don't sound like that kind of Texan.
You are such a baby! Let Mr. M take a digital picture of you and post it up so we can see for ourselves.
How did you get so wise and caustic at such a tender age?
I wouldn't count on getting away with slapping a deputy no matter how big of a cad, unless you are a US congresswoman.
ROFLMAO...that first post wasn't me, LMM ;) Swear on a whole stack of Bibles and boneless nachos, a hug from Skunk, olay.
As for hip replacements, the last time I went through a security screening, it was my steel-toed boots what set it off. I told 'em that. It was the last thing they checked.
The law gots no respect for the law. Eh, Manoel do Brazil?
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