Reuters has a fun little subscription called "Oddly Enough." They send me a daily email so I can stay up on the weird stuff. This week, though, I saw an alarming story.
Turns out, kindergartners who are inattentive, distracted and hyperactive turn to gambling in greater numbers than their peers. The study controlled for parents' income, education, and family composition. These fidgeting pre-schoolers are likely to start gambling when they reach the age of eleven or so, claims the study.
And why should we care about prepubescent betting? Because, according to this broad, in-depth look at 163 children subjectively evaluated by their kindergarten teachers, these rambunctious young gamblers are statistically prone to serious problems down the road: mental illness, failure to complete high school, problems with addiction.
This tragic prognosis got my attention. Mr. M was definitely a squirmer in kindergarten, and I'll be damned if he didn't start gambling at the tender age of seven. He wants to bet on everything. "Bet you a quarter I'll beat you at Sorry," he often challenges me. "Bet I can run up and down the stairs in 4 seconds." "Wanna' bet I can't spell telephone?" "Betcha' I can burp." Betting seems to pervade his every thought.The fundamentals of betting, however, are lost on him. Mr. M doesn't understand that if he gambles a quarter, he better damn well have a quarter in his pocket so he can pay if he loses. In fact, he is certain he'll win every bet, so being a responsible counterparty is irrelevant. Besides, he tells himself, mom will lend him some money if he loses a bet and is forced to pony up.
Shit. He's starting to sound like Lehman, Bear, even AIG. My kid is an investment banker and he's only seven.
Posts
14 comments:
Ha! Well played. Be sure to include Merrill in there.
LOL Hilarious! Better get him in GA now! Before he gets himself a bookie. : )
Mr. M's name wouldn't be Madoff, now would it?
Look on the bright side - he will be able to provide for you when no one else can!
Teach him to play real gambling games. With real money.
He'll learn about odds, and he will either 1) realize that the house always wins, or 2) be on the world championship of poker.
Either way, he'll breeze through statistics in high school.
My 12 yr old son has a friend whose dad plays poker with them when they spend the night there. But no worries, he is not a big spender.
You know what else is really strange? I recently read an article from the Globe & Mail about names that mentions in there some studies about how people's names can have a significant effect on how they turn out as well. Couldn't believe it.
I don't know what your son's actual name is so this will either make you feel better or worse. I'll apologize in advance. Also, the mention of this is secondary to the real subject of the article -- I don't know the source of the original study.
Wendy, in a momentary, middle-aged lapse, I replied to your comment posted here . . . in the comment section of the "middle-aged" post. I'm feeling extremely discombobulated. In any event, your link was veddy veddy interesting. Thanks.
Hmm, to judge Mr. M's prognosis, I just need to know one thing.
Does he hit or stick on a soft 17?
Seem's to be all the rage. Both of mine can play a pretty good hand of poker and they are only 7 & 11 yrs. hmmm... It should be very interesting times when we are "older adults"
Becky, if you're talking black jack and no more hits: he definitely stays on 17. If you're talking real life, he still stays on 17. Assuming, that is, that I have anything to do with it.
I can see Mr. M saying all those things! Too funny. I, too, am a fan of "Oddly Enough". Better than hearing about our economy on the real news!
LOL...what someone else said about gambling. Hope Mr. M wins the World Championship of Poker, or get him in touch with better investment bankers than Madoff, (who'll probably be writing to *complete brain phart h'yar*...ah, yes..Martha Stewart, for cell decorating tips) ;)
I might have to incorporate gambling into morning centers. I have a LARGE group that meets that criteria.
Post a Comment